Following up on this et seq., I’d like to clarify a few things. Just as my current unhappiness isn’t due entirely to my lack of romantic success, it isn’t all about my dad’s illness either. He’s not really that bad right now; he’s fairly active and can do just about anything if it isn’t too strenuous, and while he looks like he’s sick, he’s still living at home and doesn’t need hospice care or anything like that. While his condition is deteriorating, that’s happening so gradually that it isn’t really noticeable on a day-to-day basis. I don’t like to talk about him too much, because it makes it sound like I’m fishing for sympathy and that’s not what I’m doing at all. While I’m sure his illness plays a large, maybe even foundational, role in my current mood, I don’t want to overemphasize it, partially because it’s one of the few things in my life that I have no control over.
It’s more just that it kind of feels like nothing in my life is going well. Online dating has turned out to be exactly as frustrating as real-life dating (that girl logged into the site on Friday but didn’t respond to my message, which I’m taking as a bad sign), I’m not getting any interviews for the jobs I want (although I did have a full-time job here practically fall into my lap), and living at home has been irritating me more and more (though I’m now housesitting, which should be better). The job and the housesitting will probably do a lot to help me feel better over the next few weeks, but I still feel vaguely dissatisfied with the way things are going. I’ll look into some of the things people suggested at Unfogged to try to improve my mood; maybe just trying something new will help.
Sunlit Water 
I’m sorry you’re down. I’m sure you got lots of good suggestions already, so I’ll just add that I’ve gone through stretches where nothing went well, and you just keep trying things and having them crash, because you know for sure that nothing’ll change if you don’t try anything. There are also periods of serendipity. Those are equally unfair, but way nicer.
Comment by Megan — July 1, 2007 @ 3:04 am |
Yeah, online dating can’t be thought of as a consumer interaction. People will not respond for thousands of reasons, and you need to remember that it probably has nothing to do with you. I send messages that go unreturned all the time, but it’s good to keep in mind that it’s no tragedy; you don’t even know them–which at least makes “rejection” less hard than IRL.
And yes, new things will help.
Comment by A White Bear — July 1, 2007 @ 6:07 am |
Right after graduation is also, I think, a fairly common time to feel all deflated and crummy. I hope the gloom starts to clear soon.
Comment by redfoxtailshrub — July 1, 2007 @ 10:33 am |
Oh man, the first 6 months after I graduated were probably the worst of my life. I was so stressed out about finding a job that I ended up getting a painful bout of shingles. I’m sure it doesn’t help that much to hear it, but things really do get better after a while. You won’t be living with your parents forever, you’ll get some kind of job in a city you want to live in, where you’ll certainly have better luck meeting new people. Keep your head up and be persistent. It really does just take time.
Comment by Sommer — July 1, 2007 @ 7:43 pm |
Another vote for “Post-graduation sucks,” especially if you’re not doing anything that organizes your time or social life. Is there anyone you can go shoot pool with? When I was at home that turned out to be really helpful — in general, learning to bug people to go out made me happier. But there may not be as many people from high school around; OTOH they have these internet meetup things now, maybe that could help you get out of the house.
I realize people were saying a lot of stuff at Unfogged that I didn’t read, so apologies for redundancy. And congratulations on the job; even if it’s not what or where you want, it’s something. (So when do you ship to Iraq?)
Comment by Matt W — July 1, 2007 @ 8:10 pm |