People have been clamoring for an update on this weekend, so I guess I should talk about it. Things didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, but they didn’t go terribly either, and I’m okay with how it turned out but a little unsure of what to do now.
We got in Friday night and checked into the motel. Girls 1 and 3 arrived Saturday morning and met us at Event X around the time it started. We had lunch with them and some other people, and were around them a lot for the rest of the day. Since I had dealt with my earlier dilemma by deciding to go all out for Girl 1, I talked to her as much as I could, and she was very friendly and seemed interested in being around me, which seemed like a good sign.
Girl 2 showed up just as Event X was ending for the day. Her behavior around me was markedly different from previous times I’d seen her; she was polite and friendly, but not at all flirtatious, and she didn’t pay much attention to me. This could have been because she was aware of my conversation with Girl 1, but there were also a lot of other differences between this situation and the previous times I’d seen her, so there are too many possible confounding factors to say for sure. It’s also possible that I was totally misinterpreting her previous behavior. One thing I was sure about, though, was that I’d made the right decision in going for Girl 1. Interacting with Girl 2 when she wasn’t showing a whole lot of interest in me made me realize that the main reason I had liked her before was that she seemed to like me, and once that was gone there just wasn’t anything in particular about her that caught my interest.
At this point, so far so good: Girl 1 seemed interested and Girl 2 didn’t, which removed what I had been worried could be a problem. A new problem arose, though, in that once all three girls were there they sort of withdrew into mostly hanging around each other and not paying as much attention to the rest of us; I kept trying to talk to Girl 1, and she was a lot less engaged than she had been. Weirdly, this was the case even when the other girls weren’t around. I was worried that this might be because I had pissed her off somehow over the course of the day, but given subsequent developments I don’t think that’s a very likely explanation. Still, it was very odd, and it was a big blow to my confidence that she didn’t seem to be responding as well to me as she had before.
Our plans to go out Saturday night were somewhat (though not entirely) stymied by the fact that a couple of the people with us were under 21, so we spent most of the night drinking whiskey in our motel room. This was not what I would have preferred, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I ended up not even trying to do anything with Girl 1, and eventually we all just went to bed.
Sunday morning Girls 2 and 3 left and Girl 1 came with us for the second day of Event X. I talked to her some more, and she was just like she had been the previous day: attentive, engaged, apparently interested in being around me. I found this quite odd (and a pleasant surprise) in view of her behavior the previous night, but there wasn’t any time to do anything about it before the event ended and we all left. When I said goodbye to her I told her we would keep in touch, and I do intend to, but I don’t know when (if ever) I’ll see her again.
So that’s the story. Virginity still intact. I’m slowly realizing that events like this really aren’t the best venue for love, because there’s basically no privacy and not a whole lot of downtime, but it’s very frustrating nonetheless. At this point there won’t be any more, so it’s not really an important issue anyway.
What I do need to decide, though, is what to do about Girl 1. I realized from seeing her this weekend that I really, really like her, and I really want to see her again, but I don’t know when that’ll be possible. I do intend to keep in touch with her online, but I don’t know how successful that’s going to be given that she’s not very reliable about things like replying to messages. I wish I could figure out how she feels about me, but her signals are very hard for me to interpret because she’s kind of vague and evasive. Ordinarily that might be a sign that she’s just not interested, but for her it seems to be part of her way of interacting with people in general. I think she knows how I feel about her from the conversation I posted about before, but she hasn’t even come close to indicating how she feels about that (at least as far as I can tell). Advice about how to deal with this is welcome.
So that’s the story and the way things stand now. It’s a pretty common pattern in my life, actually, but it never seems to work out well.