At the risk of pissing off my readership (such as it is) with even more low-value-added linking to Gawker, I just couldn’t resist drawing everyone’s attention to recently incarcerated racist lunatic Kenneth Eng’s book proposal and resume. Some highlights:
Chapter 2, Why I Hate Whites – This will be a 30-page doctrine of documented evidence and a few anecdotes that delineates why white people, to put it bluntly, suck. Reasons include the fact that they are obsessed with conformity, their women are sluts, they are physically smaller than Asians, and they take abuse very easily. It will include anecdotes about my fistfights with white students at NYU.
This paragraph speaks for itself, I think.
Chapter 3, Why I Hate Italians – This will be another 30-page section in which I show why Italians are enemies of the Asian race. Reasons include Sofia Coppola, Quentin Tarantino, Jon Favreau, Jay Leno, and a number of other “big name celebrities”. It will also describe why Italians are an inferior race despite their technological achievements, and include personal recollections about my encounters with Italians (I did grow up in an Italian neighborhood).
Yes, for Eng Italians are apparently not white. I’m also not really sure what “technological achievements” he’s talking about. Radio?
Chapter 7, Why I Hate Asians And Yes I Am Being Sarcastic – As the title of this chapter implies, I do not really hate Asians. Nonetheless, this chapter will point out the silliness of civil protest and why whites, blacks and Italians should not be treated with any kindness. It will include anecdotes of my attempts to use peaceful protest in NYU.
Note that, as the chapter title indicates and he helpfully reiterates, Eng does not actually hate Asians, which leads me at least to wonder what the hell his article “Why I Hate Asians” (mentioned in his resume) was all about.
Epilogue – This will summarize the fact that I am not a sexist, homophobic lunatic. It will also be a preemptive strike against expected criticisms.
Good to see he’s thinking ahead. Note, however, that he apparently makes no effort to deny charges of racism.
The “Marketability” section contains more gems:
1. To my knowledge, there is only one existing book about anti-Asian discrimination. This book will be the second, and believe me, it will be more extreme than its predecessor.
Oh, we believe you.
2. You may be thinking this is too controversial and will turn off all white and black audience members. Here are a few words to remember – CHINA. 1 BILLION PEOPLE. 60% ATHEIST.
All of them fluent English speakers, of course, and intensely interested in Eng’s fistfights at NYU.
5. Bill Maher and Ann Coulter are very hated. That does not stop them from being bestselling authors.
Hmmm, he may actually have a point here. Score one for Eng!
The resume is somewhat less entertaining than the proposal, but the “Notable Attributes” section is worth quoting in full:
Fastest novelist in America (Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate finished in a month and a week)
Youngest SF novelist in America (contracted at age 20)
Extensive knowledge in quantum physics, metaphysics, mathematics, evolutionary biology and genetic engineering
23 years old
Hardest working guy on the planet
Completed 20 feature-length screenplays and 8 novels (not first drafts, but COMPLETED SCREENPLAYS)
Young, fast, and the hardest working guy on the planet? Sounds like he has a great future ahead of him. Or would, at least, if he would just stop threatening to kill people and stuff.