Sunlit Water

December 18, 2008

I Cried. I Never Cry, But I Cried.

Filed under: Dating,Personal — by teofilo @ 11:19 pm

The end of a relationship is never easy, even if you see it coming a long way off, and this one was no exception.  While I think we were both expecting this to come at some point in the near future, it was still a hard conversation to have.  They always are.

I don’t know why it is that my interest in and commitment to this relationship began to wane, but it did, and once it did it was only a matter of time.  I felt (and feel) awful about the fact that she was still so committed to it and to me when I didn’t feel the same way, but there wasn’t much I could do.  I often have a hard time figuring out just how I feel about things, which often makes things unnecessarily confusing and difficult for people around me.  I think in this case a lot of it can be attributed to my lack of experience and resulting difficulty understanding what exactly I want and why.  Certainly none of the blame is hers, and I still love and respect her and hope to maintain some sort of friendship, if possible.

In any case, this is a major change, painful but necessary, and I think and hope that things will ultimately end up better for both of us as a result of it.

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7 Comments »

  1. I’m so sorry, teo, for the both of you. I can say, notwithstanding how cheesy it sounds, that these things do get easier and clearer with the sort of distance of time (to conflate time and space, but I hope you know what I mean).

    Comment by Stanley — December 19, 2008 @ 12:52 am |Reply

  2. Thanks, Stanley. I appreciate that.

    Comment by teofilo — December 19, 2008 @ 12:07 pm |Reply

  3. Oh hon. I’m sorry ’cause you’re in a painful period. If you can, be a little self-aware. Sadly, breaking up with people is something you learn by doing and you’ll be better at it if you pay attention as you go through it. And, if you can, be a little self-forgiving in the next while. You might be emotional or exhausted or needy or absentminded. Those are all OK, and you are wonderful, and you should go easy on yourself until you are somewhat restored.

    Beaming affection and concern out your way.

    Comment by Megan — December 19, 2008 @ 4:56 pm |Reply

  4. @Teofilo

    I’m so sorry to hear that. yeah, heartbreak is just one part of loving a person,you’ll get better soon… Megan is correct, self-forgiving is very important to free yourself to whatever you think of and feel of.

    Chris,

    Comment by Relationship Dating — December 20, 2008 @ 8:10 am |Reply

  5. I’m sorry to hear it. Take good care.

    Comment by Witt — December 20, 2008 @ 8:26 pm |Reply

  6. I’m sorry, teo. But if it was time to have that conversation, then it’s better in the long run to have had it than to keep putting it off.

    Comment by andrew — December 22, 2008 @ 2:32 am |Reply

  7. Oh, hey, Teo. Sorry to see this. As has already been said,this may be the right and necessary thing, you may know it’s the right and necessary thing, and that doesn’t make it feel any less awful. Hope things are starting to look and feel a little better!

    Comment by Di Kotimy — December 26, 2008 @ 1:07 pm |Reply


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