Sunlit Water

January 18, 2008

More Desire

Filed under: Dating,Personal — by teofilo @ 5:49 pm

What I was trying to say in the previous post (which may not have come across clearly) is that while it’s quite possible that the waitress is just a little ambivalent about dating me and may eventually decide she wants to, the very fact that I gave her my number and she didn’t call makes me a little less interested in her, because one of the main things I want in a girl is that she be excited about the prospect of dating me.  I want to ask a girl out and have the response be an enthusiastic yes.  This has never really happened; on the few occasions that I’ve asked girls out, the usual response has been a noncommittal “yeah, okay” or a maybe.  Responses like these may well come from a reluctance to express too much emotion for fear of making oneself too vulnerable too early (though I doubt that’s what’s usually going on), but I feel like the asking out is a pretty serious expression of emotional vulnerability on my part and if someone is really, truly interested the least she could do is say so.  (None of this really applies in an online dating context, where the process works quite differently.)

Now, obviously not every girl I like is going to enthusiastically like me back, so it’s not like a lukewarm response is a deal-killer for me.  I’ll probably test the waters with the waitress again in a little while.  And once the process of dating starts, of course, things change a lot and it’s hard to say how things are going to end up emotionally.

What I would like, though, is to someday find someone who likes me as much as I like her and is willing to tell me so.  It would make me so happy.



  1. This isn’t unsolicited advice, but it is unsolicited analysis, based on meeting you. Also, I hope it doesn’t come off as harsh; I intend it to sound optimistic. Anyway, I’m just going to shoot you straight, so here goes:

    I think you’re a thirty-something man trapped in a college-age body. (Granted, you’re out of college now, but insofar as I’m analyizing that past few years.) I don’t think you need to change or find new lines or gimmicks or anything, I think it’s basically who you are, but it probably makes it hard to connect with young-20’s women. I think basically the girls will catch up with you in the next few years, and you’ll be a hot commodity.

    (If its any consolation, being an overly adult girl is probably harder than being an overy adult boy. You’re rarer than she is.)

    Comment by heebie-geebie — January 19, 2008 @ 9:01 am |Reply

  2. That sounds like a pretty plausible analysis; thanks. When I was a kid my parents used to call me the world’s youngest forty-year-old, and I don’t think much has changed.

    Comment by teofilo — January 19, 2008 @ 2:52 pm |Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: