Sunlit Water

January 31, 2007

I Suppose It Was Inevitable

Filed under: Personal — by teofilo @ 10:29 pm

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve begun to feel increasingly alienated from my internet friends.  Not quite as alienated as I feel from my real-life friends, but getting there.  This is not a good sign.



  1. Sorry you feel that way. I’ve found that there’s a somewhat cyclical pattern to how close I feel to online folks, so give it time and hopefully things will right themselves.

    Either that, or it’s because you’re actually an alien. In which case such a feeling wouldn’t be so strange.

    Comment by Matt F — January 31, 2007 @ 11:42 pm |Reply

  2. I admit that I had not considered that possibility. As an explanation, it works disturbingly well.

    This isn’t really such a big deal, and it may well be cyclical. It has been a recurring pattern in my life, though, which makes its reappearance in a new context a little upsetting (though not really surprising).

    Comment by teofilo — January 31, 2007 @ 11:49 pm |Reply

  3. Hi Stranger,

    I’ve found it to be a cycle.


    Comment by eb — February 1, 2007 @ 1:16 am |Reply

  4. More seriously I’ve found that the problem is related to online interactions not quite making it to the level of conversations. (I suppose I could try IM sometime; maybe I’m wrong about that.) But what can keep me from feeling alienated from in person friends is having an occasional longer talk, not necessarily a “serious” or “catching up on things” one, but still an involved conversation, and that doesn’t really happen in this format in the same way. You’re never quite in the same place at the same time. Plus you don’t really do things with each other, aside from be online regularly. Even if you read the same book or watch the same movie, you do that individually. Only the talking about it online is the “with each other” part.

    This problem may apply only to me.

    Comment by eb — February 1, 2007 @ 2:35 am |Reply

  5. IM helps. It really does.

    Comment by A White Bear — February 1, 2007 @ 3:13 am |Reply

  6. Teo, don’t be an alien! We like you.

    IM is definitely a much better way to have an online conversation than blog comments. Heck, sometimes it’s better than actual conversations.

    Comment by mrh — February 1, 2007 @ 8:45 am |Reply

  7. It’s because Unfogged is being all mean and cantankerous, isn’t it? (And when I say Unfogged, I mean me.) But seriously, yeah, email or IM your friends, or see people in person if you can. Blog comments will drive you insane if that’s your main means of contact.

    Comment by LizardBreath — February 1, 2007 @ 5:27 pm |Reply

  8. I haven’t been all that impressed with IM (though I haven’t used it much). Too many of the downsides of conversation. E-mail is nice, though, and definitely better than blog comments.

    Comment by teofilo — February 1, 2007 @ 6:10 pm |Reply

  9. I’ll fourth the recommendation to email.

    Comment by Tia — February 2, 2007 @ 10:49 am |Reply

  10. E-mail is nice, and e-mail can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to. No seriously, e-mail good.

    Comment by Matt W — February 2, 2007 @ 10:18 pm |Reply

  11. Too many of the downsides of conversation.

    What are the downsides of conversation? I supposed, compared to email, there’s the time-pressure: you’re expected to respond right away, rather than having time to craft a response?

    Comment by mrh — February 4, 2007 @ 1:31 am |Reply

  12. That’s the main one. There’s also a sort of random formlessness to it that I don’t like; you have less control over the direction of the conversation.

    Comment by teofilo — February 4, 2007 @ 1:39 am |Reply

  13. I relate to this at the moment.

    Comment by heebie-geebie — February 4, 2007 @ 12:56 pm |Reply

  14. Your spam filter is not playing nice.

    I hate IM. But I have many of the same problems with e-mail.

    Comment by pdf23ds — February 11, 2007 @ 10:31 am |Reply

  15. Apparently making the whole first sentence into a link looks spammy.

    Comment by pdf23ds — February 11, 2007 @ 10:31 am |Reply

  16. Yeah, it’s been kind of oversensitive lately. Sorry ’bout that.

    Comment by teofilo — February 11, 2007 @ 2:27 pm |Reply

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