Oh, What The Hell

It’s been slow around the blogs this weekend (like most weekends, actually), so I guess I’ll tackle this meme.  It’s a long one, so I’m putting it below the fold.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Sharing a home and a life with a loving and devoted partner, either in a big city surrounded by people or in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing.  The important thing would be to have each other.

What is your greatest fear?

Dying a lonely virgin.

What historical figure do you most identify with?

So many to choose from.  I’ll say Meriwether Lewis, for a variety of reasons.

Which living person do you most admire?

George Soros.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Lack of motivation.  I wish I could get myself to do the things I know I should do, but for some reason I can’t.

What trait do you most deplore in others?

Unreliability.  When I ask someone to do something, I expect them to do it, dammit.  If they can’t be sure they’ll be able to do it, they shouldn’t agree to take it on.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Eating out.  I really like to eat in restaurants, and would do so much more frequently than I do now if I could afford it.  I used to buy a lot of books, but I stopped when I realized I was buying them faster than I could read them.

On what occasion do you lie?

Rarely.  I do lie sometimes, but I don’t see any particular pattern to the situations.  More often I just withhold certain facts that I see no need for the person to know.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

All the body hair.  I know it’s not that big a deal, but I do envy those guys who look so sleek and hairless.

What is your favorite journey?

I like long drives to distant places full of adventure.  I drive alone and don’t have a radio, so it’s very quiet and peaceful and I can hear myself think.  I often sing to myself.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Chastity.

Which living person do you most despise?

I’ll say Bush.  There are people I know personally that I dislike, but I don’t think I despise any of them.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

“Actually,” “really,” “I think.”

What is your greatest regret?

I regret so many of the decisions I’ve made that it’s hard to even begin to choose one.  I guess I’ll say not realizing sooner that I could indeed be attractive to women if I just put a little bit of effort into how I present myself.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Someday I hope to be able to answer this question.

When and where were you happiest?

The brief period in high school when I had a girlfriend was the happiest time of my life.  I’d give anything to feel that way again.

Which talent would you most like to have?

The ability to just walk up to people and start talking to them.  Being able to do that would have served me well so many times in my life.

What is your current state of mind?

Relieved that the semester is effectively over and I’m no longer under so much stress, but still lonely and a little sad.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would make myself bolder and more outgoing.  Shyness is doing me no good at all.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

I often wish we could be just a little bit happier.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what would it be?

No idea.  I’ve never really thought about it.

If you could choose what or who to come back as, what would it be?

I think being a woman would be interesting.  Difficult, of course.

What do your consider your greatest achievement?

Making it this far in one piece.

What is your most treasured possession?

The Pendleton coat that was my grandfather’s and was given to me by his best friend.  I don’t wear it much because I don’t want it to get wet, but it’s very special to me.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Unrelieved loneliness forever.  Luckily, I haven’t experienced it myself.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Physically, I suppose this would be my eyes.  They’re bright blue and have a sort of piercing quality.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Friendliness, I guess, or at least not being a total jerk.  I haven’t given much thought to how I feel about men.

What is the quality you most admire in a woman?

Independence and the ability to make her own way in the world despite the obstacles she encounters.

What do you most value in your friends?

The way they accept me and make me feel comfortable around them.

Who are your favourite writers?

Melville, Kafka, Hardy, Sterne

Who is your favourite hero of fiction?

Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man.

Who are your heroes in real life?

People who actually do things to make the world a better place, either by donating money or by going out there and helping in person.  I am not one of these people.

What are your favourite names?

I like obscure, interesting names.  Biblical names are nice, especially the ones people don’t use much anymore.

What is it that you most dislike?

Feeling like I don’t belong somewhere.  I seriously hate this feeling.

How would you like to die?

Awake.

What is your motto?

The world is a harsh and brutal place, full of beauty.