Feelin’ Half-Past Dead

I’m feeling kind of down right now. Partly that’s because I’m sick (just a little stomach bug, no big deal), but it’s mostly because I’m under a lot of stress right now and I’m not sure how well I’m dealing with it. I’m sure it’ll work out okay; there’s less than a month left in the semester, and once it’s over I think I’ll feel a lot better.

It’s been kind of a rough semester. My classes aren’t very difficult, but I’m also not very interested in them (I’m mostly finishing up with requirements) and I’m finding it hard to motivate myself to study. Not that I’m falling behind. I do all the work, but I often put it off until very, very late at night and then rush through it half-assedly. My attendance record is very good as well; I never got into the habit of skipping classes, so I generally just show up even if I really don’t want to.  I’ve been getting very little sleep, though, which can’t be good.  I think I probably got sick because the lack of sleep made me vulnerable to whatever it was that infected me.

The big problem is the lack of motivation, and it’s not just for school. Even things I’m normally more interested in have languished, because I just can’t bring myself to do anything most of the time. Depression probably plays a role here; I’ve never been diagnosed, but there’s a family history of it and what I’m feeling now seems a lot like descriptions I’ve heard of the symptoms. I’ve had episodes like this in the past that have come and gone, so I’m pretty sure it isn’t chronic and is probably brought out mostly by the stress.

I’m not really looking for sympathy or advice here. I’m mostly just trying to work through my thoughts about my situation right now. I still think it’ll be okay once the semester ends. Just a few more weeks.