Last night my synagogue had a “Las Vegas night” as a fundraiser, which basically involved people paying $25 and getting a certain amount of fake money to gamble away or use to bid on items in a silent auction. The system was very complicated so as not to run afoul of New Mexico’s strict gambling laws (or, since they also served beer and wine, New Mexico’s similarly strict liquor laws). I wasn’t really intending to go, but when I was at services one day last week the guy who was organizing it told me that there was a nice girl who would be serving drinks there that he wanted me to meet. This was kind of weird, since that was maybe the second or third time I’d ever talked to him and he really didn’t know me at all, but I figured, what the hell.
So I went. I paid $25 to “gamble” and $5 to drink, and while I had no interest in the former, I did have a beer. It was good beer, from a microbrewery in Colorado owned by the son of the synagogue president. When I saw the organizer, he asked for my name then brought me over to the non-alcoholic drinks table and introduced me to the girl. She was cute, and she seemed to like me, so I spent most of the rest of the night standing at the drinks table chatting with her.
She’s a sophomore living in the dorms at UNM. Her roommate is a member of the synagogue (and the sister of a good friend of mine from Hebrew school), which is how she got roped into staffing this event. The organizer apparently told her I was a UNM student as well, which just goes to show how little he knows about me (if the fact that he didn’t know my name hadn’t already established that). We got along pretty well, and when the thing ended she and her roommate (who was also working the event) invited me to come back to the roommate’s parents house, where they’re staying right now for some reason, so I did.
I’m not sure quite what I was expecting at the house, but I wasn’t too pleased with how it went. When I got there it turned out they had brought over a male friend of theirs who was really irritating and immature, and we all just sat around and watched Young Frankenstein. It was okay, but it didn’t give me much opportunity to talk to her.
I was sitting next to her on the couch the whole time we were watching the movie. It would have been very easy for me to make a move, but somehow I just couldn’t make myself do it. I had this same problem on my dates with the previous girl as well. I’m just way too shy and inhibited; even in situations where I’m quite sure the girl would welcome me doing something, I can’t convince myself to take that risk. When I tell people this they usually tell me I need to get over it, and they’re right, but they don’t seem to realize that that’s hard for me. I’ve had so little romantic success that the possible negative consequences are much more vivid for me than the possible positive consequences, and it’s very difficult to overcome that.
Anyway, I did get her number and will call her today. I like her and I’d like to see her again, even though last night was kind of weird for a first date.
Oh, wow. The presence of some immature, irritating guy would cramp anyone’s style. Still, it sounds like the odds are in your favor. Good luck!
Comment by Di Kotimy — October 28, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
Yeah, it was a pain, and it made me wonder why I seem to keep dating these younger girls. They’re cool, but they tend to have friends who are really immature. I kind of wish I could meet some girls my age, but the thing about graduating is that suddenly you’re no longer always surrounded by a large group of people your own age. You’ve got to take what you can get.
Comment by teofilo — October 28, 2007 @ 1:51 pm
The younger girls are desperately hoping you will take them away from their irritating friends their own age.
Comment by Wrongshore — October 29, 2007 @ 1:15 pm
Yeah, there’s that.
Comment by teofilo — October 29, 2007 @ 2:14 pm
In fairness, at pretty much any age the girls are hoping you will take them away from irritating people.
Comment by Di Kotimy — October 29, 2007 @ 2:21 pm
True, but there seem to be more of them in this age range.
Comment by teofilo — October 29, 2007 @ 2:33 pm
Boy, does this bring back memories. My guess is you’ll have to know them better, much better than this; and this kind of encounter, of introduction and passing time, is not going to do it and will leave everybody frustrated. It’s not just you, it’s the situation, the casual and almost interchangeable quality of it. Some people seem to be able to make something of such situations, without anybody’s feeling bad about it. I was never one of them, and I don’t think you’re in a position now, if you ever will be, to be either.
Comment by idontpay — October 30, 2007 @ 7:59 am
I’ve got a more traditional date with her tonight. We’ll see if anything comes of it.
Comment by teofilo — October 30, 2007 @ 9:41 am
Hon, just for the record, what you are doing now is dating. This is it. There may be later situations, where you are in a long-term romantic relationship with someone that are also called dating. But that aside, what you are doing now is dating. This is all there is to it, so you are well on your way to being as competent at it as any of us ever get.
Comment by Megan — October 31, 2007 @ 5:50 pm
Yeah, I know that. I just don’t like dating, and I want to move on to a long-term romantic relationship relatively soon.
Comment by teofilo — October 31, 2007 @ 5:59 pm
That’s a standard sentiment; you’re right on track.
Comment by Megan — October 31, 2007 @ 7:26 pm