Fantasy

Jackmormon, who is one of my favorite blog people, recently had a post responding to BitchPhD’s series of posts for frank discussion of sex. The particular issue she ended up addressing was my contention that men are taught that their bodies are inherently disgusting, and the surprising bewilderment and opposition that statement aroused from both men and women. I’m sick of that argument, frankly; I said pretty much all I want to say about it in the comments to this Unfogged post. But Jackmormon also mentioned in passing another issue that was raised in the men’s discussion: fantasy. She writes:

More Flirting

After suggesting that Hypothetical Girl may just be the affectionate-with-everyone type (which I think is probably true), Megan says:

(In my case, real interest can make me more stilted and awkward than usual.)

I find this fascinating. I’ve often wondered how these really affectionate, constantly flirtatious types signal real interest–it couldn’t be by flirting, because they flirt with everyone, but how then? I don’t think the sentence I quoted actually answers this question, since I doubt Megan deliberately acts stilted around guys she likes, but I find it interesting nonetheless since it seems at once recognizable and odd to me. Recognizable, since I can totally sympathize with feeling awkward around someone I really like, but odd, because I usually try to cover that up by being outwardly friendly and affectionate to signal interest.

Does anyone else have any insights on either Megan’s comment or my question?

Drinky Drinky Fight

There sure are a lot of Irish pubs in this city. I was walking down the street today and there seemed to be at least one on every block. While I was pondering that fact, I came upon a trio of middle-aged women, one of whom asked me if I knew where "the Irish pub" was. I responded that there were a lot of Irish pubs in the area, but while I was talking one of her companions mentioned the name of the particular Irish pub they were looking for. I happened to have just passed it, so I pointed them toward it and continued on my way.

I remember my dad when he was in Spain telling us about all the Irish pubs there; they were apparently the latest trend. That was about six years ago. Is this an example of a European trend arriving in the US a few years later? I don't know how long these pubs have been here, but I doubt they're very old. Has anyone else noticed this? Is it a nationwide phenomenon?

In other drinking-related news, later that same trip I finally found a place that sells beer by the sixpack. I am now content.

Meme

I'm actually not big on memes, but I have wanted to do the states meme for a long time.  So here goes; this is a list of states I've visited, followed by a VP describing something I did in each one:

• Alaska: fasted on a ferry.
• Arizona: drove across the Defiance Plateau in a blinding snowstorm.
• Arkansas: stopped at a restaurant where my mom had an unfortunate run-in with cream gravy.
• California: was the ring-bearer at my aunt's wedding in Big Sur.
• Colorado: rode the Durango-Silverton Railroad.
• Connecticut: took the ferry to Long Island.
• DC: got off the metro in Chinatown to eat at Chipotle.
• Delaware: told a guy in the next lane how to get to Philadelphia.
• Florida: went to Disney World.
• Georgia: changed planes in Atlanta.
• Illinois: visited the University of Chicago.
• Indiana: visited Indiana University.
• Iowa: had a very good hamburger at a restaurant in Davenport shaped like a giant red barn.
• Kansas: stopped briefly in Emporia.
• Kentucky: stayed at a motel in Ashland.
• Maryland: got stuck in traffic around Baltimore.
• Massachusetts: ate ice cream for dinner at a rest stop on the Masspike.
• Mississippi: saw the ruins of the old family plantation.
• Missouri: went right through downtown Kansas City.
• Nebraska: saw what's left of Fort Sidney.
• Nevada: was the ringbearer at my cousin's wedding in the basement of Bally's in Reno.
• New Jersey: picked wild blackberries at my grandmother's summer house on Long Beach Island.
• New Mexico: got chased by a police helicopter.
• New York: spent the night in the Port Authority Bus Terminal.
• North Carolina: saw the Biltmore in Asheville.
• Ohio: saw the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland.
• Oklahoma: stayed at a motel in Muldrow where the desk clerk was from my home town.
• Pennsylvania: drove through Harrisburg in a blinding snowstorm.
• Rhode Island: took the bus from the airport to Providence, then a train to Boston.
• Tennessee: met my southern relatives.
• Texas: stopped at a very nice park in downtown El Paso.
• Utah: watched Cruel Intentions in a motel room in Kanab.
• Virginia: walked around Charlottesville at dusk.
• West Virginia: visited Harper's Ferry.
• Wyoming: visited Yellowstone.

States

One of the main reasons I wanted to start a blog was to post this map of states I've visited, and the comments to this recent post at Unfogged inspired me to do it now. As you can see, there's a definite pattern. Most of the states I haven't been to are along the northern fringe of the country, with some sporadic gaps in the South.

Anyway, there it is. I'll have more on this later.

Late

They're repaving the streets in my area. I went out to catch the bus to work this afternoon only to find that the street was blocked off and actively being paved. Usually when this happens they re-route the buses onto other nearby streets, but it's never clear how far they go before turning back to the standard route, and I think the individual drivers have some discretion in the matter.

With that in mind, I set out to find a bus stop where the street wasn't being paved.

Speaking Practically

The style of the previous post was not chosen purely for aesthetic purposes; I also wanted to abstract away from the details of the situation because this has happened to me more than once.  One of the times it happened was yesterday, hence the timing of the post, but my concern is not so much with that situation (which is pretty stable and, indeed, comfortable) as with the general pattern.

My main impression of these experiences is that it sure seems odd that on multiple occasions girls that I find attractive will start talking to me and actively seeking to spend time with me and generally doing things that, to me, seem to indicate interest, only to casually indicate that no, they are definitely not interested.  The conclusion I am increasingly drawing, however, is that these are really just friendly people doing what they consider normal, friendly things, and I'm the one who's reading too much into it.

The problem, then, is that I don't seem to be able to tell which signals indicate interest and which don't.  I've long had the problem of assuming interest where there is none, but I had thought I had largely overcome it.  I guess not.

(By the way, the comment thread to that post was great.  Thanks to everyone who contributed.) 

Speaking Hypothetically

Suppose a young woman were to meet a young man, and the two were to see each other frequently and get along very well and engage in pleasant flirtatious banter causing the young man to believe that the young woman might be interested in him romantically.  Suppose further that at some point this young woman were to casually and with total relevance to the conversation mention her boyfriend.  What would you think of that?

First Day

I had my first day of work today; actually, it wasn’t so much a day of work as a brief orientation. They explained how the internship works and gave us a tour, then introduced us to our supervisors to arrange our schedules (it’s only 10 hours a week). Mine is a mixture of mornings and afternoons, which suits me just fine.

The building is beautiful. It’s a converted nineteenth-century mansion with all the decoration and elaborate architecture that implies. Due to its age, however, it has mice, and they were very clear that food should stay in the kitchen and conference room, not the offices.

All in all it went well, and I think I’ll enjoy the experience.

Beginnings

This is not actually the beginning of my life as a blogger. I already contribute under my real name to a very serious linguistics blog with some of my colleagues, and I have been commenting for a while on various blogs, particularly Unfogged. This is, however, my first experience with personal, pseudonymous blogging, and I’m not really sure where I want to go with it. I guess I’ll just see where it takes me.

Tomorrow I also begin a new job, one of those unpaid internships that are what’s wrong with America. I don’t want to reveal much more at this point, but I’m pretty excited about it and I hope it goes well.

I suppose that’s enough for a first post. There will be others.